Blog 14

I so badly regret ever telling him that I wanted him to leave. That I wanted him to go pursue education and do what was best for himself, because I knew he would enjoy reaping the benefits in the future. The last few nights I've wished that I would've begged him to stay when he mentioned the concept of it. That I would've gotten down on my knees and pleaded he wouldn't go, just so I could continue to hear his voice every night. I wish I could have grabbed him by the arm and dragged him back to my house so he'd never have to leave again. So I'd be able to do nothing all day but cuddle in his grasp, snuggling my face into his chest while inhaling the amazing aroma that is his. After this week, four more weeks till he arrives back. But by Friday, it will be only a week before I can stroke his beautiful face again and gaze into his ever-changing eyes. Before I can sleepily lean into the palms of his hands while he teases me for being so exhausted after our endeavors together. Before I can trail my hands on his shoulders, feeling all the butterflies in him awaken as I explore his mouth with my tongue. I long to see that adorable embarrassed expression and lazy smile again. That red face that remains each time after I pull away, as a result of some daring new action I took while his face was pressed on mine. I cannot wait to feel his warm, sweaty cheeks under my hands again as I comfort his tired body with hugs. Those watercolor eyes that dart around the room when he's too flustered to look at me. Those chapped yet rosy little lips of his that quiver at my stare. Grabbing that sweet face and pressing his lips onto mine forever is all I could ever wish for. Our leaping heartbeats together while we indulge deeper in intimacy is all i'll ever need to keep me alive. I'll never deserve this amazing boy. His cute photos in the mornings are enough alone to leave me utterly starstruck. I imagine myself standing behind him in the mirror in some of those photos, eagerly kissing his face and neck as he struggles to get a good photo that he would end up giving to me anyway. I want to kiss him so deeply in his sadness, in his anger, in his strongest love and his strongest hate. I want fo bring him back to this world through my love durring times where the world may not feel real. I know it is real, it is my favorite place to be as long as my sweet, good boy is here.