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I saw some tiktoks about how older kids grow up stricter than younger siblings and I thought it was a unique experience. aparently it's super common.
I have 3 sisters, 1 older, 2 younger. to preface, when i say "younger sister" im referring to the 18 year old. when i say "baby sis" im referring to the youngest.
my older sister and I grew up with so many rules that it caused us to be more dependent than my younger sisters. I was never allowed to have friends over yet my younger sister is currently having a grad party. I couldn't go to sleepovers but both of my younger sisters can stay out late and overnight with their friends. I wasn't allowed to go to birthday parties without my parents knowing my friends parents, yet my sister has gone out to parties without even saying goodbye.
it's so frustrating. not only did covid ruin my social development but having helicopter parents did too. now my younger sister is popular class president and I was just known for being the girl with the super strict parents.
I begged my parents to let me have a birthday party every fucking year and they always dismissed it. I understand that it's during the Christmas season but all I wanted was a small gathering but I never got it.
I wasn't able to hang out outside school with anyone. people stopped inviting me places because "your parents say no anyways."
my older sister is 24 and more introverted than me and still lives at home (which is no problem bc it's common in our culture). she never goes out unless it's to go to the store or work. she only ever hangs out with me bc she has no friends in town. I tell her to go out and make some but she doesn't want to. she still asks permission to go places even though she has her own car and her own job. my younger sister never asks to go places, she just goes and my parents don't care.
I don't have a license bc when I was in high school I never thought I would use a car since I'm never allowed to go anywhere. I wish that either my parents weren't so strict or that they kept the same strictness with all 4 of their kids.
I have the urge to do dumb shit without telling them because it angers me that I was sheltered so much. I've gotten good at keeping secrets from them and instead telling my older sister. my older sister doesn't tell my parents my secrets bc she understands how their parenting severely impacted us. my baby sister is a bit introverted but she does talk back to my parents, which is something I used to get spanked for. there are some things I can't tell my older sister (like about my past sugar father) bc she's a Christian and will probably snitch about things like that.
people always told me "just do it. just sneak out. just do something dumb. just have fun" but I can't. we were raised to fear our parents. if I did something like sneak out, I would either be beat with a wooden spoon, forced to quit extracurricular activities, not be allowed to have my phone or computer, or possibly be kicked out...or all of the above. mistakes were punished like forgetting to do the dishes when it was my turn. my dad always took away my phone, which was my only way to interact with friends. I hated that. now don't care as much bc he can't do much.
it's like my teenage years were wasted being confined to my room. now I have to learn to actually live in the real world
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xxRebellious_Emmaxx
I feel you as an only child with a helicopter grandmother. Although the rules weren't as strict with me, my controlling maternal grandmother would throw tantrums at the mere suggestion of me leaving the house by myself until I was 17 (and even then, I still kept some secrets from her such as the times I'd walk to school in the mornings or take the city bus across town by myself).
Now that I'm 18, she really can't stop me from going out into this world by myself as I'm now legally an adult. If she doesn't like that, too bad, she can go pound sand.