New Ex, Lessons Learned

CW/TW: Negative views regarding body weight represented; mention of sex

I insisted on knowing why. He said it's because of my extra weight. I've lost over 50 lbs this year, and over 100 since the birth of my daughter. Once I reach my weight and fitness goals I told him that I'm planning on a tummy tuck and breast lift (my body, my preference), which I now regret even mentioning to him, since he wasn't worth it. Whatever the case, in the end it turns out that he has the emtional maturity of a teenager.

Also, it seems very strange to me that he was so enthusiastic for so long, and the next day decides he's not attracted to me? It's strange, my brain is gnawing on it like a dog with a bone. I need to just make myself just let it go, tell myself that yes, he really is just that shallow.

So he fucking shattered my heart. I'm afraid of trusting anyone else with my heart, almost lost trust for my husband. Yet I'm forcing myself back out there, while working through therapy. I'm very clear that I'm looking for "friends first" on my profile. I need to build some trust before I can open up again.

I'm seeing a brother of a childhood friend next weekend, as friends, to see where it goes. Hopefully it goes friendly and smoothly.

I miss my favourite smoke up buddy, but I fooled around and fell in love. Unrequited. Unintentionally upset his GF. He's not talking to me. 

Feeling lonely. Husband away taking care of his parents. Need a snuggle.