short story #2, part 1

"God, that was tiring," I sigh, closing the front door behind me. I had assumed a "beach house" would be similar to a regular house. Not only was it weirdly full of glass, but just getting here from the stores "nearby" took ages. I felt even worse due to the summer heat. 

"That's because you don't go out on walks when I ask you to," Lily remarked. Lily was a close friend of mine, having met her in primary school. She was far more collected than I was, myself being somewhat of a troublemaker. She had her brunette hair tied up in a bun, and her muscly, bronze skin shone brightly against the blinding sunlight. 

I, on the other hand, was gay. Extremely gay. For Lily. 

I'm not entirely sure it was, but Lily's full pink lips, bright eyes and constant, radiant smile definitely made me feel something. 

"Not everyone has time for that like you. Some of us actually enjoy sleeping," I respond slyly. "You'll get bags under your eyes if you get up any earlier." 

"Oh, be quiet, you," she said, putting her bag and towels on a nearby chair. "I'm going to have a shower; this swimsuit is way too tight. Don't break anything." She left to go upstairs. 

I sat down on the couch, reminiscing. Despite how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about Lily. There was nothing I could do to stop myself. So instead, I indulged myself. I allowed myself to create fantasies where we were together, and we were happy that way. I stayed like this, in one position, for about seven minutes before Lily came back downstairs, this time dressed in simple shorts and a t-shirt. 

"Aren't you hot like that?" she asked me, pointing to my jacket. "Yeah, but the shorts counteract the heat. Hot top and cold bottom make body warm," I said jokingly. She rolled her eyes and giggled, turning on the television. "By the way, when will the others get here?"

"They said they were going to town, and they left when we did, so probably... two hours?" 

Lily paused for a while, thinking about something, before noting, "That's plenty of time." 

I was about to ask her what she meant by that, but she paused the show she put on and turned to look at me. "Bea, can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah, sure," I responded, confused. I felt my face getting hotter, though I'm not sure why. We were just friends talking, weren't we? 

She looked down at her hands before continuing. "So, as you know, I broke up with Colin a few months ago because he freaked out about something. Did... did Ben ever tell you what that was?" I shook my head, still confused. I didn't really talk to her brother all that much. "A-alright," she stammered, her face getting redder. "Um, it's just, we've been friends for a while, and I felt like I should tell you this? A-about myself, I mean." I watched her in silence, inviting her to continue. I won't deny that my mind began racing. What is she going to say? Does she like me? Does she? Please? I didn't say any of this out loud, of course. She was dating a guy named Colin for a few months before breaking up, so the chances of her being into me were pretty slim. 

"What I wanted to say was..." she trailed off, sweating intensely. "I-it's that I, um... I'm bisexual."

"Ah," I say, doing my best to hide my immense ecstasy.

"W-wait, don't get the wrong idea!" she said quickly. "I'm not saying this t-to get with you or anything! I'm just telling you this because you're my friend a-and I thought you should know because I wanted to tell you and stuff, and I..." she continued, rambling. She began to cry, trying desperately to explain herself. I wasn't sure when to interrupt her to tell her that I didn't have an issue with this. Her sexuality didn't matter to me because our friendship was all that actually mattered. Oh well, I thought. Better now than never. 

"Lily, wait," I said, holding her arm. I'm unsure if my face is visibly red now, but I need to look past this. "I'm totally cool with you being bisexual." She stopped rambling, looking at me with tears in her eyes. "Y-you're fine with it? With me? You're ok with me being bisexual?" she choked out, hopefully. "Yeah," I repeated myself. "I'm lesbian, remember? Why would I care? You're still my friend." 

She stared at me for a bit before wiping her eyes. "Haha, yeah... friend." She said the word with what I thought was contempt. She sniffled. "Sorry about that, I just... didn't want to lose another f-friend." This worries me. Is this why Colin broke up with her? They both said it was mutual, but this was likely the catalyst. To make sure of this, I ask her about it. "Is this why you and Colin broke up? Because he wasn't ok with you being bisexual?" She nods in response, still sniffling. "Yeah. We were on a date and ran into one of my exes, who revealed it to him. I hadn't told him at that point yet." I nodded. "I'll get you some more tissues."

She smiled slightly. "Thanks, Bea." I blushed as I left quickly to get another box of tissues. 

I wasn't sure what to think. This was my fantasy. Everything about it was dreamlike. I was alone with the girl I liked, we were talking about personal stuff, and it looked like she was about to confess something to me. And while she let out a deeply personal secret of hers, she let out a bit of trauma as well. She told me she hadn't spoken to her father in years. A part of me begins to wonder if this is why, and I start to feel angry. 

I thought about Colin and how he seemed irritated whenever Lily was around. About how he would seem almost revolted at the thought of being near her again. Sometimes, even after they broke up, he would shout at her. And even though everyone around her attacked him for it, she would always ask them to stop. Every time. As if she blamed herself for it. All of this, all because Lily also liked girls. This world was crumbling, but I was not about to let Lily crumble with it. And I will wait as long as she needs before I try anything. She needs to heal first. 

I walked out of the kitchen back to where Lily was seated on the couch, hugging her knees. I handed her the box and sat down beside her. "Thanks again, Bea," she said, her voice hoarse. I couldn't help but blush every time she spoke my name. It felt really nice not to be deadnamed. It always felt nice coming from Lily. 

We sat in silence for a bit, unsure what to say after this. Eventually, I gave up on trying to be smooth. "Wanna turn the TV back on?"

"Oh... yeah, sure," she said, looking for the remote. She put on the show she was watching. It was She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. I gasped quietly in embarrassment, already knowing how the show ended. I didn't realise Lily was looking at me, noticing my reaction. "Oh, did you want to watch something else?"

"No, no, this is f-fine," I responded, hitting myself mentally for being too open. Then Lily giggled, and my heart melted into a puddle. "Ok then."

We sat in a comfortable silence until our friends returned. One of them noticed Lily's eyes were a bit red, but she attributed that to fatigue. Neither Lily nor I was out to them. About our sexualities, at least. I was out as trans to everyone. And it was nice having friends to talk to, to laugh with, and to trust in.

Part 2