june 17. 2023

spent the night outside of the house last night w out meaning to. i wore contacts and had to take them out to sleep. which means i got to walk home suuuper blind looking like an idiot for sure.

it was kind of a fun adventure to wander around based on memory alone! i didnt even mind the lack of vision when normally it wouldve ruined my entire day.

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the day was kinda lame and slow i watched the new kardashian show and hung probably 200 things on my walls. i was so wiped by the end of it like 4 hours later.

my mom returned to the province after going to see my papas house in nfld and spread his ashes. apparently the trip went really bad but she was able to get me one of his jackets. i have a lot of his clothes but this piece was really unique. blue and yellow adidas jacket embroidered for runners of the 100th boston marathon. its older than i am. 

my papa had pinned an anishinaabe pin on it. myself and my brother are the only ones in the family who are native. it rly put into perspective how supportive he was, how much of a good person he was and how much he cared. it was so surreal to get this item and find the pin attached to the front, and a note in the pocket from him doing some quick maths for later (the total was 40.00) (i pinned it on the wall too).

im feeling down and like life is hard, i bought 2 bottles of soju (grapes and blueberries) and im just gonna have a lowkey night drinking and feeling my feelings. 

sidenote but sy gave me a dab pen he got from the rez. i feel like it doesnt get me high but i enjoy it so much. its menthol and probably has nicotine and not much else in it but i find myself carrying it around like its my baby. this has definitely started a habit lol.

oO0OoO0OoO0OooO0OoO0OoO0OooO0OoO0OoO0OooO0OoO0OoO0OooO0OoO0OoO0OooO0OoO0OoO0Oo

song of the day - a pearl - mitski