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Category: Life

smellas steps (to a better life)

  • [redacted] wrote to me and said “hey smella … anyways, i was wondering if you could help me. see i have a wee bit of a meth problem and i’m too scared to go to rehab. any advice?” 

first off, thank you for writing to me. you’re helping a simple woman achieve her dreams. when i was a small girl, people laughed at me when i said my goal was to have a newspaper column where people write to me with their problems and i give them advice. but now look at me. people have problems with meth and there’s only one person they can turn to. not jesus. me. 
second off, we’ve all been there done that sister. here are some of the best scientifically proven methods to help u stop being a methhead. haha. see what i did there. 

  1. deep breaths. 
  2. 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can touch
  3. percocets
  4. going on a walk/yoga
  5. replace it with another addiction (e.g heroin or fentanyl)

 i hope these help u bby x. lmk if they do coz i need to win an argument :3 xo

don’t forget to write to me with your questions and queries. - smella

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