smellas steps (to a better life)

• [redacted] wrote to me and said “hey smella … anyways, i was wondering if you could help me. see i have a wee bit of a meth problem and i’m too scared to go to rehab. any advice?” 
  

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first off, thank you for writing to me. you’re helping a simple woman achieve her dreams. when i was a small girl, people laughed at me when i said my goal was to have a newspaper column where people write to me with their problems and i give them advice. but now look at me. people have problems with meth and there’s only one person they can turn to. not jesus. me. 

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second off, we’ve all been there done that sister. here are some of the best scientifically proven methods to help u stop being a methhead. haha. see what i did there. 

1. deep breaths. 
2. 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can touch
3. percocets
   
4. going on a walk/yoga
5. replace it with another addiction (e.g heroin or fentanyl)

 i hope these help u bby x. lmk if they do coz i need to win an argument :3 xo

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don’t forget to write to me with your questions and queries. - smella