"Haunt"

Haunt

That's the term I have for him.

Its funny how a person with the same flesh and bones as I, can make me feel like I want to fall apart. How a person with same flesh and bones as I, Can say things I would never say another. How he can make me lose trust in many, make me want to runaway from my skin, from life. The way I sat there and let him hurt me because part of me thought the nice words he said were true.

Damn. How delusional is that?

3 Years of a complete fake ass person and his torture. 3 years of him coming back to me when he was lost. Just for me to put an effort into helping him when he was low, to be stepped all over and beat to shit with manipulation and words that cannot be taken back. Most of the time he was easy to forgive but you cannot blame my parents abuse on me and expect me to forgive you. You cannot tell me to kms and lie on my name and expect me to forgive you. You cannot body shame me and expect me to forgive you.

I hate you. I do. I have never hated anyone, not in this way. This way is unforgivable. Yet for some reason I still go out of my way to respect you wishes. Why? For what reason? The way how when you brought up my abuse and my suicidal thoughts I didnt dare bring up yours. When honestly I had every right to.

Its been 2 weeks since your last incident with me. The time I told you stop talking shit behind my back because I didnt do that to you and if you have anything to say to say it to me, but honestly I dont think thats permission to tell me your waiting for my death. You havent just ruined me, You have ruined others and even if I didnt do anything, that doesnt mean i wont and that doesn't mean karma isn't coming. 

I am not going to let you haunt me forever. I will not. I will not let you hurt me any longer.