blog post incoming!

hey spacehey, I've been neglecting you, sorry about that. I just haven't really had good luck meeting people on here, and aren't on the best of terms with some of the people I used to know on here, so well, I don't use this site that often. However, I still kind of care about this blog, and my phone is dead, and there isn't really much better to do than explain what's going on right now with me (and I know that you're reading this Chris hi) so I might as well do a little update! 

So. I'm a furry. It's not a secret or anything, I just haven't mentioned it on this blog. A lot of people know that about me though. Most of the time I would otherwise be spending complaining here on spacehey I'm instead spending complaining over on Discord on one of the multiple furry severs I'm in. Look, I've just had a lot of luck getting along with and meeting new furries when I haven't had good luck elsewhere, so when I'm in a slump meeting people, well... I go talk to furries haha. They are pretty cool, affectionate, and cute. A good source of validation and attention, if you look for the right kinda stuff. I don't do sexual shit on there (as a minor of course) but hey, if you're old enough and looking you can find that shit there too. Stick to a certain part of the fandom and you'll meet people in no time, and some furry spaces are accepting to non-furs as well, so even if you aren't a furry you can hang out there too. (high probability of becoming a furry eventually though if you hang out with them, it's kind of a pipeline) Anyhow! It's been... decent?

So I've been looking for people to talk to, yeah. Been doing that for a damn long time, but especially for the last couple of months. After leaving the partial I learned more than ever that I'm a super lonely fuck who has little to no friends at any given time and craves attention like a crack addict craves crack. So I'm meeting people, but I'll admit, some of it just isn't doing it for me. Because I'm also romantically starved of attention. I want someone to care about me more than just in a friendly way, I wanna be loved. I want to be wanted, to be missed when I'm gone and to be noticed when I'm there. You can also get that from certain kinds of friends, but that's easier when you're dating. But the thing is, dating is such a big commitment. It's really hard to keep a healthy online relationship, and honestly, people don't really care about you when your relationship is online. It doesn't mean they don't care at all, but the distance makes it hard to feel noticed and appreciated, even if they do. But hey, let me give an update on how that kind of thing has been going. 

There was a guy sliding into my dms a couple of weeks ago, and he's back, still around. Not really that actively talking to me these days. I really enjoyed flirting and teasing him, but like... I don't really get the chance to do that these days. He's working a lot, has a job, and is on summer vacation. There's some other guys talking to me these days too, but they are a lot more passive, and the guy is already passive enough. 

So theres this really weird thing about me... not really weird, but just something that I've noticed. I've been... really fucking gay these days. I don't know if it's because it's pride month or whatever, but I've just been super fucking attracted to men and male validation for the last couple of weeks. Mostly pursuing men. And damn, do I have bad luck with men. I always find guys who are taken. For example, theres this really teasing and dominant cute dude who likes to bother me all the time, which I WOULD appreciate if he wasn't super fucking taken by some other online femboy that ISNT ME. so he's kind of just. leaving me to be bothered and pent up. I dislike it, but hate that I also don't mind. eh. It's whatever. 

But I've been meeting other guys from time to time as well, no one has just stuck around. Oh! But as far as just normal friends, I have a friend I've been talking to who went to the Boston Pride Parade with me this weekend! It was a ton of fun, and we went shopping for new clothes for me! It was a lot of fun. They are kinda insecure about their looks tho, which made it a little weird. And really pushy to hang out again for a first meeting. Otherwise it was fine! The crowds were a little overstimulating, but I didn't mind it that much. 

That's all I got to talk about rn, so hopefully this interests you guys until the next time I have to talk. peace!