Late night's in the middle of June

To Dad,..
I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you. Messages left unanswered, calls ignored. It wasn't done out of malicious intent. I couldn't face the fact that you'd soon not be here. That there was something out of our control pulling you away from me..
It hurt that there was nothing I could do. No matter how hard I wanted to pull the poison out of your veins, and swallow it to protect you.
Sometimes, I think about you...
It's June. I feel the desire to walk down to the store, and buy a pack of your favourite cigs and a bottle of whisky. Anything to feel closer to you.
Time was never on our side. The few moments we have I do cherish.
I should have been there more for you. Fought harder.
The guilt is eating me up inside, but I know there's nothing to be done about it now. I fucked up. I wasn't there for you and now I have to miss you longer than I've known you.
I'm sorry Dad.