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As you may or may not be aware, I am a very strange and abnormal individual. This has always been fine with me, but I am having a hard time leaving the house for fear of being mocked and stared at. Does anyone know of any ways to appear more "normal" and/or neurotypical? Perhaps it is internalized ableism, but regardless, I am tired of being a "creep" or "freak". I would like to be normal.
Furthermore, I think that I will begin to wear makeup, in order to hide the dark circles around my eyes. I was rejected by a potential romantic partner recently because my eyes are "too scary" and "off-putting"... though he said that most things about me are scary and off-putting. Is there a way to my my eyes less scary? Maybe coloured contacts? Are grey irises too uncommon to be unintimidating?
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Mia_is_lost
Become more loose and create hobbies. Interesting ppl float to one another. Learn to interact w ppl. Gain practice talking to ppl online and in rl. U can start off slow and it'll take time but results will show.
Thank you. I will try these. Do you have any specific hobbies in mind? I am considering writing, it seems intriguing.
by Rue; ; Report
Photography is a hobby ive seen ppl gain alot of friends over too btw
by Mia_is_lost; ; Report
Lillice
Hi its meeee i dont really get what youre going through or what you might be feeling right now but ur pretty cool and ur crush is (sorry if im rude) kind of dumb for not seeing that all because your dark circles around your eyes if a crush wants you to change something about yourself then dont someone should like you for who you atlre not for who they want u to be or be like or look like also dark circles and grey eyes are fuckin hawtttttttttt your not scary its just that people like to jump to conclusion about who you are just by your looks and those people are assholes💗
Hah, it's actually sort of strange. When I mention my features online, I get a mostly positive response (people saying that it's hot, attractive, etc.), yet in person, I'm told that I am ugly. Perhaps I'm not describing my facial features, or maybe people on the internet tend to like more unorthodox appearances... regardless, thank you for being kind. I appreciate it greatly.
by Rue; ; Report
well some ppl are smarter than others the dumb ones think your ugly or creepy and the smart ones think u look good
by Lillice; ; Report
Hades
Damn, man, I'm sorry that you feel that way :(
I know that it's tempting to make yourself look as neurotypical as possible, but my advice is - don't. I'm "high functioning", aka high masking + high support needs on the brink of a meltdown 24/7. This shit destroys your life. You lose your sense of self. After some time, you just forget who you are, what you like etc. And communicating with people you care about is nearly impossible. Besides, it's hard to build genuine connections when you're masking. You spend most of your time questioning whether people like you or your mask. It's hell.
Yes, finding people who accept you and connect with you is harder when unmasked, but when you finally discover those people, it's much more stable and authentic because they know the real you from the get-go.
But if you want to mask in public, it's such a vast concept it's hard to tell you exactly what to do. For example, when I mask in public places, I have to keep my back straight (I'm tall, so being hunched over looks weird), keep myself from fidgeting/stimming and do other stuff I do unconsciously.
☆VAMPBOYMATT☆
Hi friend, I am firstly sorry you feel like this. I myself went through to a similar process, in which it was hard for me to ever express myself and I tried being as "normal" as possible. I am not sure how much my words will be of help, but I want to tell you you are perfectly fine the way you are, and you don't need to change yourself for others. This might not seem helpful at all and I understand, but the best advice I can give you is to slowly try to embrace your differences and love yourself, for you are valid no matter what.
Have a good day 🌻
I appreciate your kind words, thank you. I suppose embracing who I am makes the most sense, but I still wish that I could be "normal" sometimes. Oh well.
by Rue; ; Report
No problem, and don't worry, I understand. I am neurodivergent too and have been sulking for years about the fact that I wasn't born "normal". You'll eventually know how to love yourself fully, it takes time. I believe in you, Rue 🌸
Also, about the potential romantic partner thing, I am really sorry that happened. However, you don't deserve someone that doesn't love you for who you are; never settle for less. You are perfectly valid right now and don't need to change! Cheers, bud : )
by ☆VAMPBOYMATT☆; ; Report