humanity

I just feel so grossed out being a human. Not in a way that I'd rather be a whole different animal. In a way that just like existing and having the ability to feel. Idk how to describe it really. Though, Its not like I wanna die. I like being able to have feelings to enjoy certain things, but the fact that I have to be able to feel other things like that I'm me, that I'm this human being and not just a supervisor of things. Essentially I'd rather be just a spectator with no physical body and existence in anyone life. Just being able to watch something else play out. This really doesn't even fully make sense to myself honestly and I know contradicts with a lot of other things. Just thinking about this makes me feel weird and almost sickly. Bleh.