i hate this

i'm seeing a lot of lesbians say that they hated their dreams and are worried this doesn't mean they're a lesbian , but for me ? it doesn't worry me that i'm not a lesbian ,, i know i don't like men ,, all the dream did was make me depressed because i wish i did . i wish i had that faceless personalityless boyfriend that doesn't speak irl , i just want to be loved and go on fluffy little dates just like the ones in my dream . i want to subtle brag to people that i have a boyfriend . i want him to buy me all sorts of stuff . i wish i was attracted to men !!!!! i wish i had a bf !!!! i wish i wasn't disgusted when i imagine myself with a man that isn't faceless and void of personality !!!!!