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possible controversial stuff ahead ooooh, ahh!
ive had a couple of discussions on here regarding modern online safety and i want to organise my thoughts into something more concise. i feel like this is a topic that cannot be talked about enough, and it has never been more relevant with the state of post-covid online activity.
reliance on online activities to get social fixes was increasing steadily pre-2020, but during covid this level of reliance obviously skyrocketed.
during this people have become more and more comfortable with sharing more details about themselves online. this has been especially prevelant with teens/preteens. you can see this on pretty much every active social media out there, including here.
i see this at least several times a day where children post details about themselves which are pieces of very private and vulnerable information.
i want to preface by saying i am not conservative in expression: engaging with communities with similar experiences/interests is highly valuable to the internet experience, and by no means am i trying to say we should all lock ourselves away into secrecy. hell, look at my profile - its essentially a novel of crap about myself.
however, here is information which i view as potentially - or highly - dangerous if it reaches the hands of those acting with malicious intent. i am also adding that this is mostly in the context of the user being under 18, or whatever age that no longer faces restrictions from the law.
age
putting your age in your bio isn't inherently dangerous, however it has the potential of signalling to malicious people that this user is more vulnerable. for example, if a user has "13" in their bio, they are more likely to be a target than someone who has "minor" in their bio, as that could mean any age between 13-17 (assuming they are following site policy).
this becomes highly dangerous when that user is less than 13 years of age. i have seen people with ages as young as 10 on their profile, which have luckily been removed. although spacehey moderation is usually pretty on-the-ball, their profiles have the capability to exist for long enough for someone malicious to reach out. the younger a user is, the more dangerous it is for them to reveal information regarding their age - which is almost always an indicator of maturity/vulnerability.
if you, reading this, are under the age of this site policy, you are not "mature" enough to use it. you think you are at that age - everybody does - but you genuinely are not. you will look back on yourself in 2 or 3 years and realise that fact and how vulnerable you actually were. we have all been there lmao
mental illnesses
i fully support the discussion of mental illness when relevant in communities. it is important to reach out to those with similar experiences in order to feel less alone.
however, making your mental illnesses public information (such as in your about me, etc) also flags you as vulnerable. there is almost no reason to list your mental illnesses like you're collecting pokemon cards. strangers do not need to know that you have BPD, bipolar, schizophrenia and DID. if any average joe could access this information, imagine how easily this information could reach the hands of someone who knew how to take advantage of it.
once again, the dangers of listing this information is amplified the younger the user is. at a younger age, you may not have established support networks, so just having anyone there to listen to you - regardless of who it is - is something that you're more likely to crave. therefore, you're putting yourself at risk, once again, to someone who will take advantage of that feeling of isolation.
triggers
not everybody will give you the attention and sympathy you crave for being "brave enough" to share these. most people will not even care. and the people that do take note of it are more likely to be those looking to, once again, take advantage of those aspects of you.
ANYTHING sexual
i cannot believe i have to say this, but if you are under the age of consent, do not post ANY sexual content. this could mean blogs talking about kinks, stating that you're hypersexual on your profile, or just posting anything of a lewd nature.
this is ridiculously obvious, but it is abhorrent to see this becoming an actual issue.
other thoughts
yes, even you -- random person who has done all of the listed things above and continues to ignore this word of warning because you think you are so mature. everybody thinks they are at any age. if you're underage, look back at yourself from 2 years ago. if you recognise how much of an idiot you were back then, congratulations: you're normal. you will look back at your current self in 2 years time and think the exact same thing.
anybody can be groomed. anybody has the potential to be groomed. do not increase your risk of becoming a walking target because you think you could handle a situation which puts your safety at risk.
bring back those crazy scary web safety PSAs!! lmaoo
Comments
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autumnx3
hey, i hope you don't mind if i repost this? i would just like to get this message out as well, it's just helpful..
go for it, no need to ask
by lem.iso; ; Report
HazyLantern
God, yes. I've known too many people who have been groomed when they were younger
And I still cringe at my behavior from when I was in my early 20's. Heck, I still cringe at things I've done in the past two years. There's always something you could learn about how to act on the internet, even if you're "mature for your age"
In fact, maturity isn't something kids should worry about, and this comes from experience. I was so focused on being "mature" in high school that I sabotaged my own mental health for many years and am still working on correcting that. There's value in being immature so long as you know where to draw boundaries
CandyPawz
1000% Agree with this
I wish school had more mandatory lessons on internet safety since many don't seem to realize that your digital foot print is forever and the more of a presence you hold online, the more danger you put yourself in.
Having a list that basically lets everyone know your whole life story and all your vulnerabilities is just handing over a list of things to weaponize against you online lol.
I also feel there's this pressure to hand over this info, esp in more niche communities like kinnies or fandom, which doesn't help at all. I get that people wanna be respectful of other people's issues and triggers but ultimately you have to learn to curate your internet experience.
Fawkes
I think putting exact ages is more helpful than not. I'm willing to add a 17 year old, but not really people much younger than that, but a 17 year old is technically a minor, so if everyone who was a 17 year old put minor instead of their age, I'd either have to stop adding 17 year olds, or add all minors and then try and guess at their maturity before removing the ones who I guess are too young. You could say that maybe only the youngest users should use minor then, maybe 15 year olds and below, but then minor becomes a flag to spot vulnerable users, just as listing exact ages does now. I don't really think there is a right answer here.
I do however mostly agree with refraining from putting disorders/triggers. I understand that if you need people to be more careful with you, you want them to know why so they'll be more considerate, but considering that spacehey doesn't let people interact with you till you're friends (for the most part), why not wait till you've friended a user and then just send them a quick disclaimer dm? This way, everyone who can interact with you knows what you're sensitive, but people can't fish for sensitive users just by skimming profiles.
Tbh with spacehey being so visible, you honestly just shouldn't talk about sexual stuff in public, outside of very easy topics like orientation, which won't hurt kids.
Good discussion.