Another bit of a vent

  Latley Ive been feeling so bored and empty like theres nothing to do and every time I try and do something I just feel even more bored and depressed then when I wasnt doing anything. Ive talked to my med doctor and he doesnt want to perscribe me any anti-depressentd until we get my antipsychotics figured out but everythings worse when Im in this mental state and I dont know what to do about it anymore. 

  I feel bad reaching out and trying to talk to people due to trauma and I just feel like nobody cares about me or my issues but I always care about others. I have no friends basically and I hate it. I want to hang out with people but Im just not in school anymore because I graduated and making friends is so much harder now. Im trying to get a job too but its like nowhere in my town is hiring even though everywhere says they are.

Im tired of being broke and relying on my parents and I just dont know what to do anymore Im almost 20 years old and I still dont know what I want to do with my life.