No, I'm not gonna tell you about myself.

i have a really hard time talking about myself. not only do i just have an awful memory and cant even remember my favorite things, but because sometimes i dont know when to shut up. its so strange. like, if you ask me about myself, i will either start fucking rambling or i'll just be like "uhhhhhhhhhhh????". because like I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 

like for example the other day i was checkin out other blogs on here cuz like why not and everyone else's little about me things and stuff are like cohesive little blurbs and i realize mine is a fucking mess. it's either i put too little or i put waaaaaaay too much. and because i never know what is too little and what is too much, i end up with a rambly mess that is barely comprehensible because i don't know what to say and what not to say and i end up throwing random things in that may not make sense. sometimes i feel like some information is not important but then i see other people mentioning little unimportant things in their "about me's" and i'm just like well should i do that too? IDK!!!?!? i feel like i rely too much on what other people are doing for answers. no. not i feel like. i DO. it's terrible. i do it for everything. LITERALLY everything. see look i almost started rambling just NOW. 

i like how with neocities the mfs on their write fucking NOVELS about themselves like them shits be so long so i did not hold back on mine on there lmao that shit is so long. i think the thing is i have a hard time shortening my thoughts. cuz yk, thoughts are a loooong string of just words words words none stop and i dont know how to turn that long string into a shorter string. i had a job interview recently and that exact sorta thing happened. sometimes i would just deadass forget the question and start rambling or i'd end up being too honest instead of remembering the bullshit google told me to say. i did not get that job lmao. 

its something i will have to work on (especially incase i get another interview so i dont BOMB IT). not just that but the whole "relying on other people for answers on everything because i'm literally stupid" thing. that sucks a lot.