Thrifted clothes and money problems

Due to my family's kinda fucked finances and just adopting a more punk ish mentality it's already years that my family every seasons says "you don't have clothes, we need to buy clothes for you!" (Which is not true I'm full of stuff they're just fucking crazy) and I reply with either "no" or show options from thrift websites like vinted etc. 

And they're like "no, nothing that has been used before, how can you trust people" and yada yada cus one time they got used furniture and it had that wood eating bug and they had to throw away lots of furniture which hey, understandable, it was traumatic! But for fuck sake why going to the energy draining fast fashion shop in town for a pair of pants and couple of shirts that adds up to fucking 100 bucks when there's a more friendly on every aspect alternative right in front of us! It makes me fucking mad! Like ya my 50 bucks boots are slowly falling apart but shit like new rocks that is actually durable cost 200 bucks! My exam to get my English certificate costed less! 

And I know it's an investment, I know "the poor buys every winter 20 bucks boots whole the rich can get one time 200 bucks boots"! I really do! But for fuck sake I cannot bring myself to buy anything new. I go from wanting to buy, buy, buy, have more and more to feel a gigantic weight of remorse inside. And it just switches throughout the day. Testimony: me today spending 5.30 bucks on a pack of cigs I wasn't even supposed to buy ever again. Other testimony: not being able to bring myself to spend money for art supplies that I NEED, that I USE because I'm in fucking art school, another fucking bitch ass of an expensive thing. I cried while confronting which pack of Prismacolor would be more suitable!! 

And then my fucking family every time I'm like "no we have food at home no need for pizza" or anything else that is like "let's not spend money" they're like "you shouldn't worry about these things" YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ALWAYS MADE ME VERY AWARE OF OUR FINANCIAL SITUATION THEN! You thought you could raise me in a sea of worries and I wouldn't get to the shore with the salt still in my hair?

"Just buy thrifted without telling them" I can't! There's one open market of used stuff in the bigger city but idk exactly were and NO thrift stores. Online? I don't have my own card, anything I buy gotta go through them and if they get the package, they'll figure out it's thrifted anyway. My hands are tied and in frustrated.

I want to punch any bitchass nepobaby out there being like "Money doesn't buy happiness" it will fucking buy new teeth for when I'll be done with you.

And when I still talked to the friend group there's this mfer in particular that would always be like "oh just buy from AliExpress oh I'm waiting for stuff from AliExpress oh who cares about the workers ' bad conditions it's not like one or less order is gonna fix it" oh then let's just stop caring about recycling shit either because who cares the world is gonna burn anyway I'm gonna fucking ship your dumbfuck head through AliExpress I SWEAR to god. Hello I'm trying to have a certain mentality here, if your weeb ass is too focused on getting that 1.83 euros keychain with an anime design probably stole from some random Etsy shop that's on you! You fucking broke my balls! Shut the fuck up.

Anyway. Vent over. UGH.