my friends

texting them is hell because i'm constantly trying to be better . i'm constantly trying be sweet and kind and funny so they don't lose interest in me , like my friends did back in elementary school . but j feel like it's happening . i'm just boring , aren't i .. i try to keep my emotions in check and i try to take breaks but my friends told me that when i take breaks they felt spooked ,  if my breaks make people upset for even one second then i don't want to take them anymore . so i'm not . i don't want anybody to e mad at me anymore it hurts too bad . i try so hard so that they don't lose interest in me , but i feel like it's happening . apple left me on read , we had an argument recently but i thought we made up .. but now j think she really doesn't like me anymore . uuuuuugh stupid doomposts i want to be happy !! happy !!!!! happyyyy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!