I called my mom today

im hearing very differences reactions about my moving gout from her... I mean she told me she loved me and she was there for me but I don't know she seemed really hostile over text. but no matter what im not going back home. I. hate it here but I hate it there even more. at least this is giving me the skills I never had like dealing with less than standard roommates... my last roommate was a long time friend and we rarely argued about anything mostly friend arguments than roommate arguments.i can't sleep again tonightt I hope its not one of them phantom pregnancies they've been talking about on the internet. even though I am on birth control. I toss and turn because I can't wait to finally be living the life that's coming. to fruition im already thinking about the tattoos im going to get maybe just the one thorn tattoo on my arm but yea. im powered by the want to get out of here. honestly I've been distant towards my boyfriend and he knows this. he can feel it. but I've just given up. its whatever he says now until I move out. I want to be honest with him but I also don't want to be homeless. and honestly that's an excuse because I know he will stay no matter what I say to him but he's completely beaten me down lol im just like him now can't stand up for myself. actually that's wrong I can and I will but its better just not to say anything. for now... and no im sleepy so I guess this blog did what it was supposed to do