a bit better

Hey, feeling a little bit better than last blog, although this one will be a little less formally structured than usual. I've just been feeling really really aimless and unmotivated all the time these last few months, so it's hard to find things to keep me busy or content. Well, recently I picked up watching anime again! I didn't really watch it THAT much in the past, but I'll admit I'm a bit of a weeb and have my favorite shows. Mob Psycho especially, and I haven't even watched the 3rd season. Right now though, I'm trying to get into Oshi No Ko and Kaguya-Sama: Love is War. I like dramas! And the romance/comedy aspects of Kaguya-Sama is drawing me in. They are by the same author, I believe, which is cool because they are such different vibes. I also watched a couple of episodes of Ranking of Kings season 2, but it didn't catch my interest the same way the first season did. Oh, and another thing, I've been playing this Visual Novel, my first actual visual novel. It's called Katawa Shoujo, which I'm pretty sure translates roughly to "disability girls". Its about a school of people with disabilities just going through their lives, where the main character befriends a couple girls with various ailments and possibly pursues them romantically. TECHNICALLY it's an eroge (which means it has lewd bits) but I don't really play it for that. The characters are pretty damn well written and hey... I'm kinda lonely haha. A friend of mine talked about their visual novel obsession helping them with loneliness, and maybe it works. I certainly feel somewhat better after playing. I know I'm not connecting with real people, but it is interesting to try to understand the girls' motivations and depth. I did the Rin route first, who is a struggling artist trying to find herself and who she wants to be while grappling with her relationship with the protagonist. They don't really get together until the end, but I dunno, I kind of don't mind that? I envy being able to feel close to someone at all haha. But maybe I have a type...? ah, and her specific disability is that she doesn't really have arms, which means she paints with her feet. ah. THATS NOT WHY I LIKE HER THOUGH. dont get it twisted, not a foot fetish. My friend who reads this blog is going to give me shit about this, but ITS FUCKING NOT LIKE THAT i swear to god. She's just. really sad, and was a little mysterious and aloof. I wanted to see how she'd come around, and just got very attached haha. I did another route too, but perhaps I'll talk about that in a different blog post. Readers who are like, 16- don't play. It's a lil too spicy. 

Anyhow, that's all I have to talk about today, see ya