writepril day 30 love letter to writepril

its the last day of writepril and i am SO UTTERLY SORRY for my flops the past few days. i am going to write a long ass post today to make up for it. i wanted to do a grand finale where i made like 3 posts in one day but i was giving time to the moment and im glad i did because while i was flopping i actually had a really lovely few days. my last entry was thursday during work so i’ll start after that. the girls and i finally went to see the mario movie at the drive in after talking about it for a while and im so glad we did. i remember the drive in feeling much bigger the last time i was there but it was super busy that time so maybe thats why. we had a pretty dead lot when we went. i also hadnt been in 4 years so maybe ive just grown to see things differently. the movie got a lot of laughs out of me but nobody had more laughs than pookie. guess second times the charm for a movie masterpiece as such. on the drive home kate curated the most banging playlist of a genre that i cant even describe. it was the type of “throwbacks” that i don’t always think of when i play them, just so many songs i hadn’t heard in forever that brought me so into the feeling of the specific periods that each song was popular. shoutout sail by awolnation. the next day i worked and skyler came over around 5:30!!! we were going to dye both of our hair because we had been planning to for a while, but skylers hair ended up taking so much out of us that we saved mine for tomorrow. it sounds overdramatic but it was dramatic as fuck. she was doing blonde streaks in her almost virgin hair so i was being super careful, but regrettably i was high as days while doing the first section and spent way too much time on it than the other sections. it was high pressure and some of her ends were breaking off and she rushed to shower the bleach out. by the grace of god it actually turned out really pretty i think the blonde streaks suit her so well. after we dyed her hair we watched coraline because its one of skylers favourites and she always tells me she can recite most of the lines, so we decided to watch it so she could show off. and that she did, she really wasn’t kidding. she knew most of the words beat for beat. maia got home from st louis while we were watching and we all just hung out and watched the rest of it, and then skyler decided to sleep over since we had plans tomorrow anyway so we all went to bed. the next day was the day of the drag show at carrigan arms! when we woke up skyler had to go to the vape store and i had to go to the dispensary so we got ready to leave the house, but maia and brendan were leaving to get coffee at the same time so we decided to go with them to snag a ride and some coffee. we got our coffee and then maia dropped us off at the dispensary and we ran our errands then went back to mine. i had to do my makeup and get dressed in an hour to make it to the drag show and i got ready with 2 minutes to spare. it was miraculous because i decided to do an intricate sort of glam makeup routine for the first time in ages and it was so worth it because it looked amazing. even with the time crunch. we got to the drag show an hour early because brendan started work an hour before it started, and maia and skyler had been told that the bar was gonna fill up super quickly because it was first come first serve so we figured we would be in amazing time for the show. we were wrong. there weren’t even any tables available when we got there. it was beautiful in there though, ive never been in a room with so many middle aged to senior lesbians. it felt super affirming and special while i was there. i kept thinking that they know so much that i have yet to learn. being around other lesbians just always makes me feel special because we have that kindred touch. no matter how different we can be there is a social experience of being a lesbian that makes me feel safe and understood because i know that a lot the innate thought processes i have are shared. the drag show was really bittersweet, it was the drag queens last time performing at that bar ever after 11 years of monthly shows. it was beautiful to see the bonds that had been made over that time, the queen kept going around and hugging certain people and dedicating numbers to people she’d come to know over the years performing there. the elder queer community is so humbling to experience as a young person who hasn’t had to deal with much in the face of my identity, because i can feel that the community theyve built has been an incredible source of strength and love. gushing a little bit here but i had so much fun. we had to leave early for maia to get to work on time, so we all headed home and then skyler and i got ready to go to sylvias! we planned to dye my hair there because she was already dying her hair and we could have a little girly hair salon roleplay fun. so we bussed there and pointed out all the landmarks on the 14 as usual. we got there and pookies hair was already pretty much finished, so she washed it out and we started on mine! it was so efficient because pookie and skyler were each doing one side of my head. they were like pros. sylvias hair turned out SO GORGEOUS and mine looks soooo freaking cute i love it. i did black streaks in the red. after dying our hair we decided to go to st louis for karaoke because maia was gonna be there, so sylvia got ready while we all listened to the really normal girls discography and listened to some new unreleased tracks. after that, we watched the leafs game livestream because we were supposed to order our ride to st louis once overtime finished. instead of actually paying attention we just typed silly shit in the live chat and pretended to speak as the announcers. us girls just know how to have a giggle. karaoke was freaking BANGIN. Some guy asked to take a picture of pookies hair because its so stunning and i absolutely cant blame him. i sang like a stone by audioslave which was so cool because its a song ive always wanted to sing in karaoke but ive never been to a place that had it in their books. goal accomplished. even crazier song they had in the books- car radio. which i obviously had to perform so maia and i did it together. the crowd ate it up and there was a guy in the back who was mouthing all the words. we stayed way too late for my silly ass having to wake up at 8;30 but its okay in the end, because today was KATA AND SQUEEZY LABOUR DAY!!! And by that i mean i went to ocad with kate to help her install her paintings for her grad exhibition. i am always so happy to spend time with mon petit bestie because well, she is one of my top favourite people ever!!! we took the train in around 11 and got our coffee and tea and got straight to work. i was so happy to help, its so inspiring to see what my friends create and to be able to be a part of it in any way. i am so lucky to have so many talented and creative people in my life that feed me inspiration and i was especially aware of that today. we worked for 3ish hours getting all of the paintings up, and it was worth every second to see how great it looked in the end. i am so excited to go to grad ex this week and celebrate my besties accomplishments and i hope everyone feels as strongly as i feel about her talents and achievements <3 i am so grateful to be able to see the culmination of all the work shes put in over the past few years. THATS my FREAKING BEST FRIEND! we were hungies as f when we finished so we went to this delicious viatnamese restaurant and kate got me pho (how sweet and kind) and it was soooo yummy it literally filled me up for the whole rest of the day too. we gallivanted through the rain getting me a vape afterwards and we were going to meet up with maia and skyler but kate decided to just catch the next train home. so mon petit bestie went home and i went by myself to meet up with maia and skyler because we planned to go to eve and janes in the evening. when we all met up eve was still on the way to pick up jane, so we sat in a tim hortons for like 45 minutes. there was this guy who kept asking people to buy him coffee then getting mad when they wouldnt and storming out and coming back 10 minutes later. toronto is epic live entertainment. eventually we got on the streetcar and headed over to eves and i had so much fun!!! i hadn’t seen them in a few weeks so we just caught up and ate snacks for the most part. we also watched eve and skyler play fortnite. eve absolutely killed it, she had barely ever played and ended in 3rd place on her first try. what a close shave. it was so lovely to see them and have laid back hang out time with friends i love dearly. we ubered to the hotdog stand so skyler and maia could get hot dogs before our train home. the guy at the hot dog stand asked if maia and i were in the same family and guess what, we are! crazy how we look alike. he also gave us free waters i really liked his vibe. we had a nice little train ride home together and wrote down podcast topics because  skyler and i have been talking about starting a podcast for a while and we finally decided to make it happen. stay tuned <3 i got home and now im in bed and i am just laying here thinking about these past few days and how beautiful it is to have so many people in my life that i love so intensely. i have moaned and groaned a lot about how i feel that need for romantic love, but i think i am more in love with the people ive surrounded myself with than any partner ive ever had before. i feel like ill never need another warm blanket to lie under when i get sad, if you know what i mean. i dont know if that makes much sense, but its a feeling id get a lot when i pour all of my love into one place. my life randomly took this 180 where i ended up in places i remember with people i know, but everything is different and older. its like a song you’ve listened to a million times that you forget about for a few years, and when you find it again you find new things to love about it and new ways to interpret it and feel it (like sail by awolnation for example). i had quite a moment of depression for the past little bit, just a sudden low that didnt feel brought on by anything specific. the past few days that encapsulate this whole post have felt brighter. a lot brighter actually. i dont want to be too confident in case it doesn’t last but im gaining back a balance. i think im finally getting comfortable after the skinshed of the past few months because i’m starting to feel new within myself. new or renewed. i think both. and i felt beautiful looking in the mirror for the past couple days. there is some sort of weight lifting off of me. im making plans to get a bike off of facebook marketplace and i want to bike all around. i love all of my friends so much and i want my love to go specially to kate and sylvia for reading and interacting with all of my writepril ramblings over the past month, you guys make this what it is for me <3 and thank you kate for this idea, i cant wait to read back through everyones posts and my own and recount all of our little blurbs and poems and journals. my friends fill my heart with joy. life is special and abundant.