Blog #9

Dear my love, 

In a metaphorical sense, God could not describe how I miss you. I intend to cause no discomfort to you by saying this, but I am so lonely. I am completely incomplete without you. I hear you, speak to you, and spill my feelings to you every day, but I cannot truly see you. I cannot look up and be greeted by your face. I cannot reach my shaking hands out and let you hold them. I cannot open my arms, and find myself in yours. Your distance is a painful reminder of the piece of myself I cannot obtain. My heart aches with sores of isolation whenever I wish you to be here. I miss your hands, your eyes, your true voice not carried over speakers which are in no way deserving to hold your words. 

I only say these things because I love you. You are my universe. You are the center of my day as I do not go a single minute without wishing to speak to you. I lay into God with my worries and troubles, but the missing presence from you is still indescribably painful. My darling, I want nothing but to be beside you. I want our hearts to be in unison (beating with your arguably more healthy pattern, of course). Your faces beauty is unheard of. There is no landscape more astonishing than that which resides in your eyes. Your cheeks are only more gorgeous once lifted by your smile. Your lips alone are the most dazzling gates to your speech. I do not care what you speak of. I will listen to all that you say for the years I am on this earth. 

I love you, sweetheart. You are not only a pretty boy, but my pretty boy. There is no higher form of enjoyment I will ever get than that which comes along with calling you mine. I am completely jealous of those whom I know want you as theirs. But I do not blame those who stare, as you are a beacon of formosity that most never encounter within their lifetimes. I encounter love from the most valuable man on this earth every day, and could not be more thankful. You are my dearest, my beloved, my precious and my treasure. There is no stronger desire of my heart than you. My soul longs for your presence even more than I feel I may understand on my own. I love all that you are, and all that you will be. Without you I lack reason to be here, as you alone are my joy. 

You hold no anger or wrath towards me. Your love is pure, not propelled by the seeds of promiscuity or pain which sprout within those whom surround us. Me carino, I do not deserve you. The amount of minutes in a lifetime cannot describe the amount of times I wish to say and express how much I love you. The kisses I want to give you, the smiles I want to share, the amount of nights I want you to hold me in your arms- there is no universe where one lives a life on this earth long enough for every single one to be carried out. I would merge your hands with mine if I could, so I would never need to leave you. I love when you hold my own with them, as you sit your palm with just enough pressure to allow my feeling of safety to stay comfortable. But I feel as if I would love your hands to hold my face even more, as I wish to hold yours. You are my everything. You are not only my hearts desire, but my heart itself. I love you beyond what I can speak. These are the ways I hope you love me, too. 

My love, I miss you. I love you, I want your embrace. 

Alexi