i fucking miss him. also bls.

i miss that stupid mf. i miss how he talked about homestuck and mcr almost constantly. i love how he wanted to share all the things that made him happy with me. i like that he let me befriend his cousin who is his closest friend. i love that he went to homecoming with me. i'm so so sorry i messed it up. i don't believe in changing the past but if i did i would go back and stop my stupid blind self from fucking everything up. and this isn't an angst post even tho it really seems like it. it was what needed to happen. and i don't blame him at all :) it just hurts, which it should. i just wish i could get my emotions under control :/ i'm working on it tho!!

also bl <3 ik some ppl might find it weird and fetishizing but tbh i like it more that some other "western" shows about gay ppl. i've said it before and i'll say it again but western shows about gay ppl focus too much on the coming out and not enough on the romance. like yeah it's part of it BUT WHERE IS THE OTHER PLOT??? gay ppl don't just sit around thinking about how to come out to the whole school. oh in addition i am a gayish dude sooo idrk if i can fetishize it? idk.

bl has other plot which i appreciate :) plus a lot of times since it's bl it's kind of tropey and cliche which i ADORE. it reminds me of fanfiction a little tbh :) my friend recommended me a new bl since i'm just kinda getting back into it (a little) and they are OBSESSED. it's called bed friends and it's on youtube. idk much about it except for the fact that the mc's mom is homophobic (i love hurt comfort).