I miss feeling special to him 4/7/23

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. 

He was talking to another girl I'm pretty sure. She seemed like some kinky slut, I'm jealous. Am I special to you J? Please tell me you love me because if this isn't a love story than what else can it be? I sacrificed so much for you but you leave me abandoned again and again. I thought I was beautiful. I thought I cured you, you said yo u couldn't come for months and I fix edit. Did I fix it by being me, or was it my body? Or is it because I was 14; now 15. Explain to me what I am to you. I need yout o love me, call me special, why are you destroying me instead?

Im not okay. I need you I sound so ridiculous and needy. I'm supposed to be smart and mature but I'm not doing any of that. I'm being 15 right now, I'm stupid.

I just wanna feel special again.