Was i too proud?

Dear X.B,

My heart,
Oh it breaks when i see you with someone else. 
Acting so happy with a complete stranger.
Why be so happy with them but not me?

I know you better.
So why pick them?
They know nothing about you.
I remember every little detail you tell me,
Every detail about your life,
So why did you pick them over me?

Was i too proud with you?
Was i too caring?
Would you rather me hate you?
Treat you like dirt?
Face it,
You would wouldnt you?

Youd really prefer someone like that to me?
Im jealous.
Im jealous of how you still smile at them like you did me.
Im jealous of how you still say more then one word to them.
Im jealous of how you love them, but not me.

Ill be the first to tell you.
The first to admit it.
Im so in love with you.
Youre on my mind all the time.
I hate you dont like me.
I hate it more then anything.

How dare i cry for weeks on end,
And all you did was move on?
Like i wasnt anything to you?

How dare you treat me like that?
I gave my everything to you.
Even at my lowest, i still tried for you.
My letters, they were all writen to you.

You,
When you left me you put me down to the bottom again.
I became the lowest ive ever been.
And yes, i blame that solely on you.
Because it was your fucking fault im like this.
Im obsessive and crazy again,
And who am i obsessing over?
You.
Its always been you.

Why cant you love me?

- Your dearest love, Kai.