my personality is my work

shut up

calm down

i try to write

i try to ignore my seven shows

seven shows

seven goddamn shows where no one knows my name

“torvald helmer”

memorize all this for what

only a month away i’m running out of time

hard to really work with this in my head

stuck up on stage for all on display

i’ll be lost in their memory after an hour or two, maybe even three

seeing me at the stores wondering why they knew me

“were you in that play?” no i don’t know what you mean

all these lights and pressure are making me sweat

i feel nauseous 

i could hang myself in the dressing rooms

they’d probably milk that

my costume is suffocating

actors are a dime a dozen 

leading roles kill young souls

the audience will be seated 

i go on, act, bow, leave

a one time casual affair

if only it was as simple

can i go on drunk

try to ignore my surroundings

are they all laughing at me

can they feel me stare 

take me home

i don’t want to be here

at least i know it’s working when i’ve driven myself insane and lost sleep over rehearsals.