It's Not Me. It's You.

This was written March of 2012

Lately, I don't wonna hear the troubles & pains of other people. I have no desire to care, help, or even listen to people's bullshit. I am sure many of you have noticed a change in me & I would like to express somethings to all of you. I don't think any of you know what I go through & how hard I have it (and that comes standard with the package). Lately, I am going through a lot at work, with friends & unresolvable conflicts with family members. You think you have it tough? Believe me when I say that right now, nobody else's problems seem any worse than mine. I know that I am in a better position than many others. Like I mentioned before, we all go through our own version of hell. And in my eyes my hell is more important than yours.

I have been a loyal, loving, selfless person most all of my life. Noticing that most people take advantage of me. Some do it on a unconscious level. Others do it knowing they are just using me! I don't want to feel like this anymore! I may come off like an ass or bitch but you are just going to have to deal with the fact that I don't care about anyone anymore!

I need to grow up! I need to start working on being a man!

Helping you get ahead in life has only held me back & there will be no more of this shit!

I have needs too...did you ever think of that?

Don't come to me with your sob stories or bullshit. Believe me I couldn't care less!

Its not fair, its not cute & as self centred or whatever it may sound...I think I deserve more help than any of you. No one lifts a finger for me so I need to stand up & man up on my own two feet. I am sick of what I have become, I am disgusted with where I am & I am ashamed of the way I look and feel before the eyes of the world.

**to those FEW who have actually done more than lift a finger for me. You know who you are. I have nothing but the utmost respect and love for you. When I was down, you lift me up. When my car was down...you helped me get it back. When I was kicked out of home...u took me in! And even when I wanted that cool cell phone...u got it for me. And even though right now I am struggling to make enough for GAS. I will never forget the day u let me borrow a 10$. Even though I REALLY need to pay u back @_@ Believe me I feel like shit about that!

I need to do me ppl... I suggest you do the same!

2 Kudos

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