BRUH IM A GENIUS

literallyyyyyy!!!! i got a 1480 on my sat like wtf. i feel so smart rn. like an actual genius. like no wayyyy. this is so so so awesome do you know much scholarship i can get with this???? i raised my score a whole 130 FUCKING POINTS LETS GOOOO BBYYYY.

on another note, my ocd has been so bad and ppl need to stop touching my shit because it makes me want to kill them and then lock myself in a room without filth X3 ik it's okay to set boundaries but it makes me really sad because it makes my friends feel bad and i feel like i'm missing out a lot. idk. i don't think i want to change tho. i like how i am with that. it really sucks having to wash my hands all the time, but as long as i keep the touching things down to a minimal it's okay. not ideal at all but it's been like this for years. i don't think it can be fixed tbh. and everyone treats me weirdly because of it. including someone else that LITERALLY HAS ocd :/ ig cause our types are pretty different. i mean i was literally in the psych ward tho and the staff and other ppl were giving me weird looks when i voiced my thoughts. i feel very alone and not super understood. i don't even need to be understood tho, just respected. and i feel like that doesn't happen.

it's all good tho. i have sm shit going on bro. i am shadowing a geneticist, applying for summer programs at yale, uchicago, and emory, taking two ib and three ap tests, and trying to get a summer internship. i'm gonna explode. but if i get any of these opportunities i will be so so so happy. i'm really really hoping to get into a summer program, especially at yale. i would be so happy!!

and also i have been feeling *so bad* about my body lately. especially my chest. it's driving me absolutely bonkers. literally cut it off. idc anymore i never liked my chest i don't think i ever will. if i want boobs i can get ones made out of silicone. i think i still look like a man with a chest but ik no one else sees me that way. i want to change it. i also want a deeper voice. i like my voice but it's sooo high pitched and idk it doesn't sound like me. i always feel scared and stupid tho trying to use a deeper voice. like what if ppl notice or it sounds unnatural even if it's not that much deeper. still i want to practice. the first day i pass in public will be insane :) /pos

ending on a positive note, i've gotten way better at parking and driving. i'm a boss B)