tired of not being "normal"

it feels like theres imaginary road blocks that come up every single time i try to make friends or date. i cant move past this lingering feeling that nobody will ever like me, everybody will just get sick of me, ill just ruin peoples lives. i dont know how to get past it. obviously years and years of therapy wont help me so,, what ? how do i ever get past this mental block ?? i just want people. i want to not be completely isolated, but it feels almost impossible. i wish i werent a social person. why couldnt i have been like, a mosquito, or something. something that doesn't need to make friends and dies in like a week or so.