drowning

I'm drowning again, but this time I wont ask you to help me not because you are barely keeping yourself above the surface

I allow myself to drown in everything, indulge in this moment, in the raging storm I am, I let myself drown and as soon as the sensation hits I crave it even more

as the waves come crashing, surrounding me, filling this empty void of the person I am, I soon realize how pointless it is to stay up, because in the end ill just sink again. this time I am content with it though, I love this pain.

I love this self-destruction, because I see the art in it, it's so pleasing and I love seeing this mess of an ensemble be beautifully orchestrated. I love knowing that knowing as I sink lower and lower, as the pressure increases and I begin to break

there is still art in all of this disaster