disastrous ecstasy

You're feeling empty again, not empty enough, though. You just want to dig out your core. You ache for that complete feeling of emptiness. 

But even then it wouldnt be enough, would it? You're practically a zombie, youre sleepwalking, youre shallow. Its still not enough. you still want more.

You wish to just break down completly into nothing. you want to die out, but physical death would mean nothing, it would be the exact same because right now you are as close to being dead as humanly possible. 

it still isnt enough.