4

I slept too little. I can feel soreness in my throat. I continue to worry about my constitution project. I did everything in such a hurry. I blame the incompetence of my partner for my stress. If he had done everything properly, to begin with, this would not have happened. Now I clench my jaw and wait for the plagiarism report. I feel anxious. It is larger than my head. It does not allow me to think about anything else. All I can do is worry. I'm getting Deja vu. Like this scene has played itself through my mind before. I am wishing for a positive result. Or maybe I just continue to overthink it still while there is nothing much to be said. I did the right thing by doing most of the work. Relying on other people does not work and is not helpful. My neck hurts.

Yesterday, at the pro-night, this girl Anupama danced so sexy. I'd like to see her dance again and again. I'm bored and I want some smut in my life.(Still no result on my plagiarism :() . The thought of Maahi being with other people and falling in love does not bother me in the slightest. I absolutely don't care. I was right when I thought I had no feelings for her. Maybe I'm too heartless. I guess, it doesn't matter how cold you are if you can feign warmth. 

Did the sound of my typing awaken Rishabh? What ever Saksham wrote in his work made no sense to me. The guy is dumb. Perhaps he lacks taste and the sensitivity for good work. But that just re-emphasises his dumbidity.

I wish I had more sexy people in my life. People capable of giving me a boner time and time again then, perhaps, I wouldn't roam the internet in search of excitement. I miss the days of my youth where every touch was an excitement. The lack of connection I feel now is  depressing. Life sucked back then. Hopelessly, I would try to move forward. Desperately trying to be something I'm not with dreams of fame and power. 

Here it comes again. Another dream. Perhaps, a false hope. Mind loves fooling itself. The world is riddled with fools, I'm no exception. But I differ from the other fools in the extreme degree to which I despise them. 

I refuse to think anymore!