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I have always been the most dramatic, hysterical, emotional, and sentimental person in my family but this is something more. I don't know how to stop catering to my misery when it's all that I have left to feel. There's no relief from all these emotions and there is no just leaving it for another day. I'm constantly bombarded with thoughts of you that I don't want. I spend hours laying on my floor crying waiting for someone to tell me to just get up and move on already, no one does. It's like everyone around me knew this was coming and is just trying to make sure I don't make any stupid life-altering mistakes. Time I spent alone in my room fantasizing about us and maybe our future has turned into me destroying anything that reminds me of you even if I myself remind me of you. This isn't how i expected it to go if things ended poorly, foolishly i thought i'd be the one on top. I'm scaring the people around me and i don't know how to stop. I just want it to stop I can't function like this. I know this probably just sounds like me being an attention whore but i just want help so badly and i cant get it so i spill my guts online. I should've known better and I did but I anted to try. I wanted to know if love could be more, now that I know it isn't, how do I move on? I'm not suffering from a lack of attention I have multiple people who want to be in my life, how do i let go of the people i want and accept the people I have?
Maudlin
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Aaron
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been there. I can promise that it does get better. The main thing is that your belief in love has been shaken. Even though you can't imagine it now, love can be everything you've hoped for. For now, all you can do is mourn the loss and keep your own love alive in your heart, saving it for your future spouse. It eventually worked for me, and I wish the same for you.
Also vent as much as you'd like. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with mourning the loss of love.
by Aaron; ; Report
I just feel as though I'm stuck in a continual state of mourning. Its just a cycle now i suppose
by appalling_angel; ; Report
Things can change, cycles can break, you never know what the future holds. It's not unlikely that you'll meet somebody who has been through some of the same heart-break, and they have gotten to the point where they want the same thing you want: a togetherness that transcends your hopes and dreams. Realistically, I know that it happens for some, but it may not happen for others - but it's beyond anybody's control, so I guess just hope for the best and see what happens, right?
by Aaron; ; Report
Have you started feeling a little better yet, like moved on from that person? I can tell you the reason why it hurts so much is because you *thought* that was going to be the person that you put all your love into, but don't worry because you never know... the next person you pick might be the right one and you may find yourself exactly where you want to be someday. But I understand that, for now, it may seem hopeless. I've been through that, but you just gotta wait and see what happens next. I'm rooting for you
by Aaron; ; Report
I haven’t really moved on but I think I’m learning to deal with the sadness of it all. I know what I have to give is special and someone else will see it too. It’s just a waiting game and I’m great at those haha :)
by appalling_angel; ; Report