I Just Want to Touch Grass (A Rant)

I'm so angry and tired of being agoraphobic and depressed. Trapped in a prison of my own making. Medication did seem to be helping; I could almost see freedom. So optimistic I forgot I was born into a corporation masquerading as a developed nation that would take away my ability to afford this medication the second the clock struck midnight on my 26th birthday. The real sad part is how lucky I feel to have even had that. 

But this is not about the sorry state of US healthcare, however much that contributes to my anger. I probably qualify for help and I'm pursuing that so fingers crossed. All I want is to be able to sit on my own front steps in the middle of the day without all the fear and hypervigilance and paranoia. To engage in small talk with a stranger without the strong urge to run and hide, or getting sick. That would just be heaven.