Immigrant stories: Belief ☪️

The belief in practicing any religion wasnt a thing we regularly did, well not before the war in kosovo. Before the war, all my cousins got taught on how to pray in the right way, and as you can see in the caption, were muslims. My fathers side are sunnits, my grandpa (mothers fathers) was an orthodox christian and my grandma was a shia muslim, so the combo is hitting different. Although I could practice shia or revert to orthodoxy, I cant see myself in those sides of religion, so I stay to be a sunnit, as I got taught to. Funfact: My grandma was a shia and her ancestors too, and some of our village still are. Our village is the one with the shia minority in kosovo, so its cool to know.

My mother always said that she doesnt like the sheikh and doesnt know how to practice islam, since her diverse of beliefs in her family and she never got taught to, and my father believes that his albanian pride is more important than his belief to islam. So these aspects were some sort of the reason why my siblings and me are not practicing that much of our religion or even are religious. My sister used to be religious when she was my age and she taught me about islam but she taught me wrongly. She used to scare me a bit and made me think that the rules of the qu‘ran are strict. Now my sister doesnt really have this kind of belief, she just believes in god and doesnt really follow a religion. My brother always complains about how we never got taught on how to practice islam and gets angry when we talk about it. I cant blame him, I also get disappointed about the fact, that after the war religion wasnt so important for many anymore and that my parents didnt think about teaching us atleast about some things about islam. My brother doesnt really know how to pray in the right way and doesnt seem to continue on following his interest about his religion. 

I was in a kindergarden, owned by a catholic institution, so they wanted to make me believe that I am christian, which I was not. 

In general I wished that my family would have continued to teach us about our religion, because in my opinion, religion is important and plays an important role in my life, because islam brought me closer to people. I stopped doing certain things that are haraam, and it had such an impact in my life. I made this post, even tho it doesnt have much to do with the immigration of my family, but ramazan is coming up next month and I still struggle to pray or practicing religion. I told my parents that I will fast this year, but its difficult to tell them that I actually want to practice. They are gonna tell the family, and my family will be giving me stupid nicknames and not take me seriously, like they already dont. My dad was complaining about the fact that I am going to fast but my mom doesnt care. My grandma is gonna be happy tho. She is blind but still prays five times a day and does many things by herself, so I have much respect for her. 

I am still finding islam by myself, and its very hard, but I hope one day I can live peacefully as a muslim, praying and trying to live a peaceful life. Everyone who is struggling with a similar issue right now, I hope that we get through this and that we find our key to this peaceful life in this religion. I believe that islam or religion in general is peace, but thats just my belief. If you think that you can find peace also without religion, its your belief and its totally valid cuz its non of my business!! 

I hope yall have a good day or night 🌞

Ajola//18.02.2023