a thought while dying- a poem by me

the world stops

and i am left in the middle of it

alone but never lonely

i think of me

from the past and every past to come

i think of my deaths

for everytime ive died

i rip a hair from my head

until my brown roots show through again

i pull an eyelash for every friend i failed

and i crack a knuckle for every relationship i didnt start

until theres nothing left to do

and im stood facing death once again

today is not the final time

maybe tomorrow 

or tomorrows tomorrow

but today is to mourn and breathe and cry 

so when my body finally dies 

i can be left in peace 

and i can leave the letters i never wrote

signed simply with a kiss

to every love ever felt

and i can believe that it shares the joy i never protected

in the short time i was allowed to feel it

with

im sorry

it will end

every unspoken promise washed away as i leave a final goodbye to wash every goodbye away and i will remember you forever even when i forget

im sorry