i'm really mean here lol

i should preface this. i am generally not a mean person unless extremely extremely warranted, and right now i am warranted. also, this is a diary and there is not point to a diary unless you're going to talk about feelings and shit. anger is a feeling. it is a feeling that i am incredibly justified in feeling especially right now. also, there is a zero percent chance the affected parties will ever ever ever read this. i refuse to give you any context, i'm just going to feel.

you know it's good that he did that because honestly jana not everything is about you. in fact, very few things are. when he changed his hair, he isn't blond like you. he's blond. end of sentence. you didn't cross his fucking mind. also not to state the obvious or pull a jana (verb: to make a situation completely about oneself when it is not warranted) but some of us have been blond the entire time you've known me and you don't see me going "omg jana you're blond like me" when you dyed your hair like a month ago. the fact that he didn't remember when or if you even had a different color is so funny to me it's a cherry on top of the dismissal sundae. because jana you really do need to learn that the world is not here just for you. when someone is telling the group that they aren't feeling well, it's not your turn to bring up your problems incessantly. sometimes it's time to listen. i know this is a challenge for you. 

hey also, when i am talking to someone and i make a joke, it's common etiquette to not, for example, repeat my joke but louder even though you aren't in the conversation. but you'd never do that, right? that would be so selfish. oh wait. 

and when someone is performing, it's not your turn to (in the middle of their performance) start bragging about how you actually taught them all that and isn't it crazy that you are such a good teacher. 

it's embarrassing, jana. it's no wonder no one wants to hang out with you. you turn everything into the jana show. and when other people politely point this out, you flip the script and call them selfish or guilt trip them for calling you out. and to top it all off you're not even good at performing. no excuses for being a self-centered asshole who doesn't make the effort to improve herself. 

i could go on, and i might later, but i am so fucking tired. emotionally from dealing with this bitch and physically as well.