Do you ever get that feeling?

Sometimes I get the feeling maybe life is going so terribly because I deserve to feel that pain again. I did outrun it for so long, I am not quite sure what I was expecting to happen. I definitely wasn't expecting to feel so hurt. It's like someone came in while I was asleep and removed my heart replacing it with greebriers. It pains me to take a breath and to move around the room. I feel soulless and cold and I fear there is no way out of this one, one can only run for so long yknow. I guess I just thought everyone would give me the type of love I so desire, an all-consuming romantic love with care and compassion mixed in. Why am I doomed to love those who detest love or simply don't understand it? Maybe I am supposed to be the welcome change, the one who shows you your worth without asking for anything in return, and maybe that's all just a delusion to aid my hurt feelings. Either way I am not so sure that I can bounce back from this one, this kind of hurt. Guess I just hope I'm not the only one who feels this way