angel's profile picture

Published by


Category: Life

strange brain

i have what i suppose would be considered delusions but i'm also aware of it? i know how ridiculous and unrealistic the things that i believe are, so you think i'd just be able to stop believing in it yet somehow i can't...

at the very least they're not harmful things.

it's just dumb things like being convinced people i know are spying on me through technology, or that if i have bad thoughts then they'll come true (this is what every moment constantly plagues me and it has a specific set of rules that i don't think i need to be explaining right now).

or on the more temporary but equally frequent and upsetting side, i'll randomly get convinced i'm dying or that my neck is going to de-attach from my spine if i move, or a billion other things just depending on whatever i'm currently physically experiencing. about a month ago i was convinced i had a broken arm against all logic simply because i thought my pinky wasn't functioning right. honestly couldn't explain the line of thinking if i tried. also i don't have a fear of bugs but if i see bugs specifically on dinnerware or near food, i get scared there's bugs in me (like i consumed them) and i get the sensation they're crawling up/down my throat. not that fun

i'm pretty dedicated to being completely composed and monotone at all times, so i don't act on any of the things i'm paranoid about so it's not really an issue. but it sure does cause me emotional distress, which is enough to make me wish i could get the thoughts away. the problem is if my logical mind already knows very well that the things i think aren't real, what else am i supposed to do to convince the rest of me so i can stop believing in them? i have no clue. current hopes are that some miracle will wash them away

0 Kudos


Displaying 0 of 0 comments ( View all | Add Comment )