i don’t want to self diagnose but i feel it that maybe something is different about me and it’s not in a good way.
when i was five i would spend hours a day copying wikipedia information about my favorite anime characters onto paper so i would have it for reference. i would be stuck for hours thinking about the same interesting thing to me without being able to talk about anything else. i would hyperfixate on things for months at a time before completely dropping them. soapmaking. criminal minds. reading. i couldn’t talk to people without sounding rude or being too quiet and i didn’t understand why i was in the wrong. i would choose books, youtube, a world inside over anything else. i was labeled a gifted child in school (which is society’s way of saying i was a different type of special needs) i take screening tests that say i’m likely to have autism. but i don’t want to say that to my parents because i know they’ll believe i’m trying to say my brain is worse off even though i know that autism isn’t “worse” or better than being neurotypical. i don’t know what to do alone.