Mortality

A cousin of a friend of mine died recently. I haven't really had to deal with the death of people close to me much in my life. My maternal grandma and grandpa have both passed away, but I didn't really feel sad about that. 

I understood the concept that I could no longer see them. They loved me and I have fond memories of them, but I rarely miss them and I have never mourned their loss. Does that make me a horrible person?

My paternal grandma is still alive, though my paternal grandfather passed away before I was born. I never really felt close to her but she adored me throughout my childhood. I was distant throughout my interactions with her and she came to terms with it. Now, I'm in law school and have a very hectic routine. I barely get the chance to call her, and calling her is not really my priority. But it is crucial to her that I call.

Today, I was talking to her and she seemed to be on the verge of tears. And I could sense why she was feeling so. She has seen a lot of her friends die, and the rest are on their way. Many of the people she knew and loved are dead. She is lonely. The world around her has changed so much in her lifetime that she feels out of touch with modern life. She doesn't really have many hobbies except for gossiping and soap operas and life is dull. The best of her years are now long behind and now she just waits for death.

When she dies will I miss her? Is there something I can do for her? Are we her just to get old and die?