Dear mom..

Dear mami,

I’m sorry for not being the child you wanted. But I never wanted to be the child that you wanted. I didn’t want anything that I have now, but I am grateful. I’m grateful for all the love you gave me. I’m grateful for spending the beginning of life with you. I’m grateful for all the times you put yourself first and protected me with your life. There is so much more you did for me, so much that I want to honor and repay you for..I’m just sorry that I won’t be able to  you deserved a daughter that could do that for you. You deserve someone who wanted to live for you… a daughter that would’ve made your life easier. A daughter that could’ve taken care of her siblings when you had to leave. A daughter that you could’ve depended on. I know I’m a disappointment, I know I have potential to do more.. potential to create greatness… but I’m choosing to make bad decisions, I’m choosing to not try as hard anymore. I want to give up. And I’m slowly doing so. I’m sorry mom.. I’m not fit to take care of nely and lilah.. I don’t want to. And I know you would’ve wanted me to.. I know that that is the least I could do for you, and everyone else.. but I’m at the point where im realizing that the position I was put in, is unfair.. and I have responsibilities that most people my age don’t have. And I don’t want them.. I mentally can’t handle it anymore…

I’m sorry mom,

Love glow.