Sex: Addiction and Obsession

First thing's first, something I want to make very clear is that I am demi-bisexual. This means I am sexually attracted to emotions. If I trust or even love you, the odds of us having some kind of sexual exchange are high. If I do not even know you? The chances are zero. The bisexual part means I am attracted to my same gender (female) and the opposite of it (male). Please keep that in mind. I am attracted to the personality and I simply do not get sexual feelings for someone if there is no trust (which takes a while to gain, because I am a realist) or companionship.

Secondly, the title says what it says. Sex is no longer an act of beauty or love, it is abused and used as a mere drug to pass time and to feel good. Sex has become an addiction and an obsession... and obsession is scary. Addicts are scary. This is why whenever we get unsolicited dick photos in our DMs, some of us react rather negatively and/or with malice. People have begun to abuse sex and abuse is scary. This is just a simple fact.

Each time I see a random dick photo in my DMs, yeah, I get upset, sarcastic, or do whatever I can to make the gentleman feel like the very thing he sent me: a dick. I want to make it clear that there is a reason why get so upset, and it's because messages like that are threatening. At least to me. This post is more about how I view sex as opposed to how I experience others viewing sex as a sexworker of thirty one years of age... working in the sex industry since three years old against my will.  Read on with caution as I have some very strong opinions on this matter.  It is biased.

Sex Addiction is not Attractive to Me

Who cares, I suppose? I do, that's why I'm writing about it, and I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Yes, I am a sexworker, but I separate work from pleasure. I don't enjoy being a sexworker because I am constantly disrespected and treated like I'm easy to scam for free things. So off the bat, sex is not at all respected to begin with, but people are so addicted to sex these days, they refuse to respect the artists that work with such a meant-to-be beautiful thing.

Now... having sexual encounter with someone I'm genuinely attracted to, someone I trust, someone I enjoy... that feels amazing! Sure, you can masturbate to someone online. You can touch yourself to a dirty photo and a hot conversation. Once in a while that's not so bad, but if you're going out of your way to beg me for free bbw content... Sir, you're addicted and not willing to pay for your addiction. I will not service addicts because addicts do not respect sexwork. 

That's just filthy and ugly to me. So why people want to stick around and torment me before they're blocked is beyond me. There's a much higher chance of someone getting freebies from me if they're kind, nice, and just obey my rules of consent. If someone says "no" to marijuana, people accept it. If someone says "no" to a sexual exchange, it's time to accept it.

The world of drugs has more class than the world of ecstasy. Doesn't that sound... wrong?

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Sex Obsession is Threatening

When we think of the word "obsession", we think of someone who is overly-crazed about something. Someone obsessed with something has a very toxic, unhealthy connection with the thing. I want to emphasize: toxic and unhealthy. Obsession is just never good - it ends in heartache, it ends in tragedy, it ends in jail time. Obsession in and of itself is threatening. Obsession is not a victimless crime of passionate morale... and often leading to crime alone.

That in mind... one can easily see why a demisexual like myself cannot find obsession to be sexy. I find obsession with sex to be very threatening. I come from a traumatic past, so I am biased on the topic of sex altogether, but even when it comes to people who come to me for sexwork, obsession drives their insanity. They feel the best way to receive sexual reciprocation is to first be threatening.

Sending me a photo of your nethers when I don't know you is very threatening to me, as I've been molested and raped my entire life. If you saw me in the streets, I must assume you would be this kind of person, to flash his genitals at me, expecting me to accept it and even fawn over it.

I'm sorry, but your obsession leads you astray, Sir, because what you are showing me... is that you are obsessed with sex and are reaching out to any random person, in this case, me, to fulfill your predatory desire. That is scary. That is terrifying to me. I'm not going to respond positively at all. To assume that because I am a sexworker means that I am at all inviting of any and all penises and any and all sexual encounters is wrong. It's immoral in my personal code of conduct. 

Get to the Point, Already, Snow!

My point is... not everyone in sexwork enjoys sex like you do. When you walk into walmart to buy a spoon, do you rub your genitals on it before buying it? No, I would certainly hope you do that after you buy it and take it home. Sexwork aside, what sort of greeting is that, anyway? How would you feel if someone walked up to you in the library and showed you his penis without even a hello? On top of that, how would you feel if someone became upset with you because you refused to thank him for showing you his penis? 

This is something I have to deal with on a near-daily basis. If I don't respond happily and ditzily to someone's penile photo, I'm seen as a prude, a bitch, a horrible person, or even my favorite, I'm seen as a scam. I'm not the one handing out free goods, so I'm a horrible person. Sir... it is my body you are demanding of me in return for nothing. I think I'm allowed to be a little uptight when you're... for some strange, obsessed reason you're flapping that thing you call a penis at me.

Just please be careful online. You never know what kind of addict you'll run into... it's really sad.