I don't like to sleep

One of the things I struggle most with in my life is my relationship with sleeping. 

Sleeping should be simple right? Wronggg. I can't do it. My brain outright refuses to want or desire sleeping. 

I'm a night owl, I absolutely love to stay up (this is brain talking). Part of me loves to stay up and the other rational part knows I have to wake up early and work tomorrow. It's a never-ending conflict, neither side wins this conflict. Always sleeping too late and not sleeping late enough. 

Its like when someone says "if you're depressed then you should stop being sad" like no no that's not how this works. I absolutely know I must sleep right now and get my healthy amount of hours but I also MUST stay up, if I don't I lose. 

To my past, present and future me. I hope you sleep well tonight ❤️