idk what to call this lol

She whispers i love you as she slides her hand up your shirt.

When that is how I am told to be loved, this is how I'm led to believe love is never pure.

When she whispers I love you, with a kiss between each word, when she takes a bite of each cookie and gives you the rest, when she kisses your hand everytimes shes able to hold your hand, that is the type of love i was never exposed to. The type of love i had was always with regrets and desires i'll never get realistically, sure i may or may not ever get a princess but ill damn sure be happier than when i was the second choice to someone who i considered to be my world. 

When i am still loved in the winter when my lips are chapped and my soft skin is replaced with goosebumps and cold temperatures, when i am still loved in the spring, when my allergies flare up and i don't wanna go outside, that is when i know that this is really love, you love me when i am vulnerable, and when im crying, you love me when nothing is hidden physically or emotionally when its just all there to see like an open book, you love me when i look my best and my worst and that was a type of love i dont think ive ever had before, i love where i don't need to pick my best outfit just to go to the grocery store because i surely can't be caught looking like an average human being, i need to be a supermodel at all times, the beginning stages of love really is one of the most stressful times, its make it or break it. I can either lose someone that easily could and could not have been my soulmate, or risk being comfortable so someone will actually love me. the pressure to stay pretty fresh and beautiful the pressure to be perfect 24/7 because i'm too afraid to lose a chance at real love, the love that i was told is true by my grandma sitting at the end of the bed because it surely wasn't my mother. 

Please be my salvation because the second you're not a stress reliever and a stresser, the second you don't love me when i don't look like someone off a Victoria Secret ad, the second you think about getting up and leaving over something that can easily be resolved with a health conversation i don't know what ill do, i've tried my hardest to have a mature romance but i get stuck with lovers who can't love.