Life Ramble

I've been feeling really weird.Like I'm doing things that I never would've thought I would do. Like my room is completely clean and it's going to stay that way, and my closet is clean and usable. I also don't know if I really want to date anyone. like I know that I want a relationship. But who? They seem so stressful when your with someone that your not mean to be with. I mean like I get this feeling around Elliot that I don't really get around anyone else at this point but in the same way, do I really love him? Or do I just feel that way because me and him are really good friends? Like Elliot thinks I have a crush on him if I'm correct. I mean like it's not that hard to tell when I have a crush on someone but everyone thinks that I like Nat but sadly I don't anymore because I think she still likes me. She keeps talking about this line because she likes me, I might like Elliot and Elliot likes her. So yeah, kinda stuck in a loop. She told elliot that she didn't like me anymore but yet she just told me that today. I don't know I guess that she does like me still and Elliot keep making this shit  up to get me all mad and upset. But in all honesty, I don't care if she has a crush on me or not. In all reality the more and more I think about it, I should get straight jacked and then start treating everyone that I meet like a fucking king/queen if possible and start trying to pull everyone but in the same way only tyr to pull Elliot. I would be able to pull others so it would make Elliot like me more. I have a feeling that if I work on myself and continue fixing the way that everything in my life is going then I should be fine. Like all I really need to do at this point is work on my physical health because that's my biggest issue.