No Access

You can't access her freely; there's a tower she has built to protect herself. 

The harmful words from others made her feel like she needed the tower

It  was her protection 

no one could hurt her here 

no one could cause her pain 

The tower grows taller and taller to protect her from people 

I can't let anyone in; they will only bring pain with them 

the harmful thoughts entered her mind daily 

the ideas started off as whispers but, over time, turned into screams 

You can't get to her easily. 

She believes privacy will give her peace, and loneliness becomes her friend. 

The darkness of solitude covers her as a blanket that has become familiar to her. 

No one can reach her. 

Many have tried to, but the tower is so high that many just give up

She has become one with the emptiness 

Alone in this tower that she has created as protection has now become her prison 

there are no guards to keep her bound to the tower 

 just her thoughts

 Of not being enough 

Of pain and rejection 

Of failure 

When will she be free 

How can she be free 

What must she do to be free 

What does freedom even look  and feel like 

The thoughts consume her 

She wants to dance with freedom 

She wants to feel freedom, spin her around and hold her tight 

She wants to smell peace and let it fill her mind 

She wants to kiss love and let it take her to joy 

and she wants to ride with happiness 

One day she will give someone access to her 

it will be given freely 

She will be brave enough to do this one day 

One day she will break out of her tower and runaway 

with a smile on her face escaping all the darkness and running 

and smiling into happiness 

it will feel good 

It will feel like everything that she dreamed it would be 

One day she will walk into this happiness 

And never look back 

She leaves the darkness behind 

She can hear it scream you'll be back 

But she keeps running 

Because she knows happiness is waiting for her