11/13/22, 18:00

i've been gone a long time, huh?  i've settled into college, i think. maybe im just extremely disconnected from it. i think i am. it feels like everyone outside this world doesnt exist sometimes. my parents are across the country, hours ahead, and i dont think ive realized im not able to simply go home to them. ill be visiting them in around 2 weeks. maybe then ill cry. i dont really miss home. im sad to be growing old, though. i still dont know what i want to do with my life. sometimes i wonder how it would be if i simply passed away. not in a suicidal sense, but in a simple ive stopped existing sense. i dont know. im still writing, i write a lot actually. little poetic excerpts, only for myself. maybe theres something wrong with me. i have friends, good friends, that im with every day. but i think im stuck, building walls between me and everyone. were friends and yet i feel like theres always someone to connect me with others, rather than have my own connection. i dont know. i think i need therapy. thats too much work. ill be ok.