how could i love myself?

i wonder if one day i’ll be able to love and admire who i am right now, the same way i love and admire myself at past tenses. i have so much admiration for the person i used to be, i wonder sometimes what it would be like to be that person again. you know… more naïve and innocent and driven by a fantasy world i created to protect myself from everything. it feels like i’m chasing after who i was and that person’s not existant anymore.