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It was a Saturday night. We sat on the couch, you moving closer to the pillow that was between us until we were both leaning on it. It felt as though you were working up the nerve to do what you couldn't last time you were here. You looked away for a moment and then your eyes met mine.
"Can I touch you?"
Wouldn't it be romantic if I said the first thing that happened was my heart fluttered? That did eventually happen, but the first sensation was that of deep gratitude. He asked first. It meant the world to me and more. After my brain had processed that, then came the rest.
My heart did flutter, my pulse quickened, yet most surprisingly, I felt calm and safe, as though nothing bad could possibly happen in a moment such as that.
The tail end of the comet was the sexual desire that arose, the feelings of dominance toward you. It strengthened the dynamic that was already organically developing between us.
The next morning glowed as if it too had somehow experienced what we did; a touch just above the knee and hands caressing, holding.
It was something so simple, so innocent, but it held with it more passion and meaning than some relationships have.
I'm not quite sure what all of this means yet; I've been hurt. I need time. But whatever happens, I know without a doubt that the journey will be most beautiful.
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