10/10/2022 - Feeling Unhappy

Had a few things which really upset me today. The first might sound very trivial, but a podcast that I follow closely just had the producer part ways from the host on terms that didn't sound very pleasant. It may sound parasocial but I have closely followed the podcast for a long time and they had always felt like very close friends to each other, so having them part ways over seemingly unhappy terms really brought me down, because also now there's never going to be any more content of the two together and happy. I just hope that both parties are okay and land on their feet, there's things that I love about each of them and it's upsetting to see them split like this.

After learning that news on my way to work, I also found out during my shift that a bunch of my coworkers are planning on leaving between now and Christmas, like 5+ of them. I didn't know about a single one until today and then got hit with a bunch all at once, and it really just instantly set in how much I'm going to miss working with them. I genuinely feel really sad about it. Even if a single one of them left I would feel sad, but so many at once just really put me in a depressed mood for the rest of the shift, so much so that I had trouble focusing on work.

I don't really know what to do now, I just keep going about my normal routine, but for the next two months at work I'm just going to perpetually be in a state of saying my goodbyes to someone, not to mention the fact that it's also our busiest time of the year. I don't blame them at all for leaving, it's their life to do what they want with, I'm just really unhappy that I'm likely not going to see most of these people again (outside of one or two coworker meetups).

My birthday is also tomorrow, I didn't really plan anything for it and now I feel guilty like I should do something otherwise I'm being miserable, and I'm going to be unhappy if I don't do something. Maybe I might just watch a movie that makes me happy or organise to go on another road trip with some friends, I don't know.

I don't know if I have anything else to get off my mind right now, my plants are still chugging along, the spring onion is growing faster than the basil. If you guys have anything to share that would help that would be cool, maybe how you deal with coworkers that you're close with, or what you like to do on your birthday with just yourself.